When You Need Your Husband's Forgiveness

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Roland and Cynthia had a pretty good marriage and were active in their local church. Neither one thought their marriage could be hit by adultery. This candid real-life story illustrates how even a marriage broken by betrayal can be saved when both are willing to trust God for restoration.

Cynthia said, "God does His most stunning work when things are hopeless and when they seem impossible. And I'm telling you, it seemed impossible." What "impossible" situation are you in?
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Being forgiven doesn’t mean that your spouse will forget that you’ve broken his trust. Depending on the situation, it may require time for healing and time for rebuilding the trust you once had. In this video, Sheila, talks about what women can do when they’ve broken their husband’s trust and encourages them to put their trust in God for healing and restoration. 

Sheila loves encouraging women to grow in their relationships with God and with their husbands, kids, and friends. She is a syndicated columnist, popular blogger and speaker, and award-winning author of seven books, including How Big Is Your Umbrella.

Sheila's advice on how to encourage your husband to forgive you when you've broken his trust:
  1. Apologies are best expressed in actions, not words.
  2. Give him time to be angry.
  3. Truly repent.
  4. Do random nice things.
  5. Work on your friendship.
  6. Allow room for anger.
  7. See a counselor.

What other thoughts or encouragement have you received from others on how to encourage your husband to forgive you? How does it differ from Sheila's advice?
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How are you showing your spouse that you're changing? What can you do to put yourself in a situation where you are accountable and transparent to your husband so that he sees that you are serious about reconciliation?
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Psalms 51:1-19 (MSG)

1-3Generous in love—God, give grace! Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record.

Scrub away my guilt,

soak out my sins in your laundry.

I know how bad I've been;

my sins are staring me down.

4-6You're the One I've violated, and you've seen

it all, seen the full extent of my evil.

You have all the facts before you;

whatever you decide about me is fair.

I've been out of step with you for a long time,

in the wrong since before I was born.

What you're after is truth from the inside out.

Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.

7-15Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean,

scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life.

Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,

set these once-broken bones to dancing.

Don't look too close for blemishes,

give me a clean bill of health.

God, make a fresh start in me,

shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.

Don't throw me out with the trash,

or fail to breathe holiness in me.

Bring me back from gray exile,

put a fresh wind in my sails!

Give me a job teaching rebels your ways

so the lost can find their way home.

Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,

and I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.

Unbutton my lips, dear God;

I'll let loose with your praise.

16-17Going through the motions doesn't please you,

a flawless performance is nothing to you.

I learned God-worship

when my pride was shattered.

Heart-shattered lives ready for love

don't for a moment escape God's notice.

18-19Make Zion the place you delight in,

repair Jerusalem's broken-down walls.

Then you'll get real worship from us,

acts of worship small and large,

Including all the bulls

they can heave onto your altar!

In this Psalm, David confessed the sin he committed against God, Bathsheba and Uriah. It is a perfect model of confession. David did not utter one word of excuse for the sins he had committed nor did he seek to tone the gravity of what he had done or blamed others. Write out your own confession to God and tell him your petition for restoration.
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Sheila suggested you give your husband time to be angry which requires lots of time and patience. What can you do to throw yourself at God and spend more time in prayer and in His Word instead of crowding and putting pressure on your husband? What other activities (volunteer, join a Bible study, find support) can you do?
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What "nice things" can you do today to show your husband you love him? What things can you do as friends that will show him how important he is to you?
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Sheila said, "God loves to take things that are broken and then put them back together again. This is just something that He is just awesome at. And if you give God permission to do that, if you trust God with your marriage, and if you take a step back and say, God I’m not going to defend myself. I’m not going to try to force this. I’m gonna let you do it in your time,  just watch what God will do."

For more information on forgiveness in marriage and Sheila's blog, please visit www.tolovehonorandvacuum.com.