Stop Conflict Before it Starts

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Miranda never fought with her husband, Doug, prior to marriage. But after they got married, it seemed like everything became a frustration. In this real-life story, they both share their expectations going into marriage and they reveal their communication styles and issues with anger. They both realized what they were doing was not working, so they sought marriage counseling.

How has conflict changed in your marriage? Did you fight before you were married? Has it gotten worse or better?
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Changing the way we think can help switch our behavior, actions and habits and can stop conflict before it starts. In this video, Sheila talks to women about dealing with anger and the external triggers that can make conflict grow out of control. 

Sheila loves encouraging women to grow in their relationships with God and with their husbands, kids, and friends. She is a syndicated columnist, popular blogger and speaker and award-winning author of seven books, including How Big Is Your Umbrella: Weathering the Storms of Life.

Sheila's trigger points that lead to anger and conflict in marriage:
  1. Feeling overwhelmed  or busy
  2. Feeling tired.
  3. Feeling defensive
  4. Feeling disconnected
  5. Feeling hormonal

Think back to the last time you reacted in anger towards your husband. Were any of these five things in play? Which one of these things do you struggle with the most?
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Sheila suggested we take the time to deal with any trigger points so that they don't lead to anger or conflict. Read the list below. Which ones do you need to do?

Choose all that apply

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Sheila's plan to stop conflict before it starts:
  1. Ask yourself, " Is there something else going on beneath the surface that is causing me to be angry?
  2. Ask yourself, "The things that I'm feeling, are they really true absolutely? Or is it right now?
  3. Talk with your husband and be honest with him.

What lies do you believe about your husband when you're in the midst of anger? What can you do to take a step back so that you can think through what is happening? How can you remember to separate your issues from your relationship so that you can believe the best about your husband?
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How is your relationship with your husband today? What specifically do you need to talk to him about that you have kept quiet to avoid conflict?
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Sheila wrote in her blog, "If we could notice our trigger points for conflict, we'd have far less conflict in our marriage. So take a good, long look at yourself—and resolve to deal with those triggers!"

For more information on resolving conflict in marriage and Sheila's blog, please visit