How Do I Think Rightly About Recurrent Miscarriages?

Honest Heartache and the Deeper Goodness of God

Losing multiple children to miscarriage is devastating. Dr. David Powlison, counselor and faculty member at Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation (CCEF), talks about the grief of miscarriage and invites those who suffer to embrace God’s goodness in the midst of it. 

David Powlison has been doing biblical counseling for over 30 years and has written numerous articles on counseling and on the relationship between faith and psychology. His books include Speaking Truth in Love, Seeing with New Eyes, Power Encounters, and The Biblical Counseling Movement: History and Context. 

David began his message saying that his answer to the letter won’t do the question justice. This post won't either. There are no easy answers for why one miscarriage happens, let alone multiple, but rest assured—God is with you. 

The question asks how to think rightly about recurrent miscarriages, and David said the first step is to recognize that miscarriage is a great sorrow. It’s a loss of children and a loss of hope. If you have suffered miscarriage, do you feel like you have been able to fully embrace the sorrow of it? If you know someone who has suffered, have they been able to fully embrace the sadness?
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Christians are called to be people of hope and joy. So why is embracing grief such an important step in thinking about and healing from miscarriage?
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David said God made us people, not stones. Do you ever feel like you try to be a stone when dealing with your grief? Why or why not?
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David’s next encouragement was for women to take comfort in the company of biblical women who suffered barrenness—Hannah, Elizabeth, Sarah, and Rachel. Each of them was loved and highly favored by God, and yet, they suffered. In her grief, Hannah responded by crying out to the Lord in prayer and weeping.  

As you or someone you know grieve, what action can you pursue? Continued prayer? Weeping? Surrender? Seeking counsel? Something else?
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The Lord heard Hannah and responded. David said God doesn’t always respond by giving us just what we hope for, but He does respond. Do you feel God’s mercy toward you right now in your grieving? If so, how? If not, how does the story of Hannah give you hope?
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David noted that the whole Bible is a story of hope walking alongside grief—it was written by and for people who were struggling with things they hoped for, but didn’t always receive. While the world often casts aside the barren, the widow, orphans, the lonely, and more, but they all have a place among God’s people.  

What are some ways you can provide comfort or consolation of others who are hurting? (Ex: getting involved in a support group, creating a small group at church, talking to a counselor, etc.)
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It’s good and right to be happy and excited for new life, and it’s equally good and right to grieve deeply for the loss of that new life. In a world that not has not yet been perfected yet, David said it’s good to take very seriously the honest heartache and the deeper goodness of God present throughout miscarriage. Rest assured, He is with you, and He does heal.  

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